fear

I think I just spent the past 4 hours tossing and turning in bed.

Since it was apparent my body wasn't going to give in to sleep anytime soon, I might as well break convention and woke up at 5.30am.

My daily devotions brought me to this verse, which spoke to right to my heart:


"Do not be afraid, O Daughter of Zion; see, your king is coming, seated on a donkey's colt."
JOHN 12: 14


I guess my insomnia can be attributed to a few things weighing heavily on my heart: first, I shall make this announcement official! I quit my job last week in my internship company! Are you reeling in shock yet? In actual fact, it's not just me who left, but all of the interns there. The school and us (the interns) decided that the company was just not suitable (there's a whole story behind this) and that it was better to move on.

Thus, alone in Hong Kong, we had to find another internship here or it's back to sunny Singapore for the remainder of our internship period. The frantic search was unnerving, especially as the looming deadline threatens with the passing of each coming day...

But thankfully, we managed to find a company, and that company was the exact of our previous one - great boss, good working environment, workplace near our lodgings, decent working hours, all good... except that we weren't going to get paid.

Now, I must say that it is considered a norm for interns not to get paid (which explains why overseas internships are not subsidized by our school) so it wasn't like there was anything that we could do. That company assured us that although they weren't going to promise us anything, we could earn through commissions and whatnot and as soon as they have profits coming in, they would most gladly give us what we deserve.

In other words, this was going to be a leap of faith.

I do not know whether this is the reason why I'm still awake, but perhaps it might be. This brings us back to why the verse touched me so deeply... I think God was telling me to be fearless. Faith brings down all walls, breaks away all barriers, and most importantly, vanquishes all fear.